SAVING MY MOMMY !!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

THANK YOU TO MY FRIENDS & FOLLOWERS


I just want to say that i appreciate all of your comments your opinions whether you have something good or bad to say. Thank you for taking the time out to read & watch my zany misadventures and thank you for being my online friends & followers.

I know that it's been a while since my last post. I apologize for the delay I have to get my hair redone because its too far gone for me to be taken seriously. *insert laugh here* I am leaving for Michigan on Sept. 1st *bone thugs song snippet here* so i wont be back in Ga until the 8th. Thanks to you all for your patience

I know you've been asking & I will get on it as SOON as i get back!
If you have a blog you want me to be a part of please let me know by posting the link or contacting me on twitter. Again i just want to say i appreciate you & your patience.

The Sandman

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

EPISODE 9: THE BEAT UP BITCH...AN INTERNET DATING NIGHTMARE!!

This is pretty much video only i'm sorry people it's just TOO DANG FUNNY! I apologize if you can't view this blog but that's the best i can do. there is no way i can write it this funny!
please vote!

video

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Saturday, August 8, 2009

EPISODE 8: THE CRAZED DAD & HIS NOT SO VIRGIN DAUGHTER

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Okay so you know the first part of what happened: After taking Kim's virginity I went over to the USED to be virgin girl's parent's house wore her ass out then her sister came over with her lil' stankin ass kids and saw me run out the back door.

After that this is what the girl told me happened:

"Girl who was that I saw run out the back door?" The sister asked. "Oh that was just my friend." Kim answered. "Yo friend? What chu' doin' wit a 'friend' over here like dat' when mom & dad gone? Matter of fact you supposed to be SICK!" The sister asked with judgment.

*I mean seriously why didn't the nosy bitch just mind her own business? She was married, out of the house wit' two lil' stankin' ass kids and a sorry ass husband!...oh wait...i just answered my own question! lmao NO LIFE havin' ass bitch.*

"I took some midol & now i feel better. It was just girl problems not the flu. Besides you know how they are." Kim answered. "Well I'm tellin' mom & dad everything." The sister said. "What? tellin' them what? I didn't do anything!" Kim answered yelling & crying. "Yes you did you had sex wit' that boy didn't you?" The nosey ass bitch-of-a sister asked. "No!" Kim cried like an idiot. "I'm telling you if you don't tell me the truth about it I'm going to mom & dad." The sister said. "Okay okay! Yes we had sex, but PLEASE DON'T TELL MOM & DAD!" Kim begged. The sister agreed.

The next thing I know I'm getting a phone call. "Hello?" I answered. On the other end is sobbing I can't hear anything but sobbing with a lot of snot-sniffing & crying as if someone died. "Hello?!" I'm panicked now. "Hello it's me I'm sorry." Kim sobbed harder. "She told didn't she?" I asked with a sudden headache. "Yes!" Kim sobbed more. "What did you tell her?" I asked. "She kept saying she was going to tell if I didn't tell her the truth so i did. She PROMISED me she wouldn't tell & it would be between us. Later in the day my mom came home early & chewed me out about everything. My dad is on his way home now. They said I can't see you or go anywhere with you ever again!" Kim cried more. I just shook my head with my eyes closed.

"Don't you know that the biggest lie is for her to tell you she wasn't gonna' tell if you told her the truth?!" I screamed. "You KNEW she was gone tell REGARDLESS so you should have denied the sex! How could they prove it? It's your word against hers! All she saw was me run out the back door FULLY CLOTHED! That could be just me coming over & making out or watching t.v. or keeping you company! That was some stupid shit to do!" I screamed.

*Yeah it was mean but i was PISSED! Her stankin ass sister had ruin my pussy spot! Now I had to find a new bitch to fuck & I didn't wanna do that @ that point in time. "I know i'm sorry! Please don't hate me!" She sobbed so hard I could barely hear her words. "I don't HATE you. I hate your fuckin' sister." I answered.

"What are we gonna' do?!?" She asked. "Don't worry, one bitch don't stop no show. We will work around it." I said with confidence that my pussy was still my pussy & i was gone get it Malcolm X style, "BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!"

This happened on a Friday. *Seems like i'm always doin shit on the weekend don't it? lol read my other blog "UPDATE!: ME & A CHICK PT. 4"* So, Saturday rolls around & I'm 16 years old so I leave the house & head out for the mall or something...*i can't remember*

When I come back my mom has a story for me:

"Um, that lil' girl you go wit'? Her parents came over here today." She said. *GULP* I swallowed hard as hell. "They-they did?" I stuttered. "Yes..." She answered *she said like something crazy happened her face was very expressive her eyes got big & then she raised her eyebrows and sat down on the sofa* "Do you know?" She chucked before she could finish, then started again. "Do you know, her dad came over here telling us that you had to MARRY THIS GIRL?" She giggled.

"WHAT??!" I answered. "Yes child he was very adamant about you two getting married because she was a virgin and a virgin is supposed to marry her first. Now you know according to the bible that's true, BUT...BUT...you are NOT getting married @ 16 years old!" Mom laughed again. "Mom! I don't even want to THINK about marrying that girl! She's just a girlfriend I didn't start dating her because i'm looking for marriage!" I answered embarrassed.

"So what else happened?" I said sitting down with my interest sparked higher than Don King's Hair. "He & his wife pulled out this book & started talking about some crazy ass religion where they don't use the bible &...something I can't remember but anyway, they were over here THREE HOURS arguing back & forth with your dad. Well, mainly the man was the woman was actually nice but the man was rude. He kept telling your dad stuff & making all these ultimatums and your dad was like, 'I don't care what ya' say my son ain't getting married @ no 16 so you can just forget that.' Mom said laughing.

"Why did they stay so long?" I asked. *thinking they may have been waiting for me.* "Because neither one of them would back down. Your dad got mad because the man would say something crazy then your dad would have to show him where what he was saying was a direct OPPOSITE from what the bible said. THEN...he THREW THE MAN & WIFE OUT!" She stopped laughing & was trying to keep a straight face. *you know how you wanna' laugh @ someone who's like...retarded but you got that "God'll getcha" fear so you stifle it? That's how she was doing when she said that part.

"What?! Why?" I asked. "Because the man said SOMEthing but whatever it was it was really crazy like blasphemous so your dad got up, walked over to the door, opened it & was like, 'Okay thank you very much you gotta get outta' my house.' Mom said cracking up laughing now.

"What did the woman do?" I asked. "Well when he did it he was standing there holding the door open looking @ the man & woman to get up. The man looked @ your dad, then he looked @ me & his wife, picked up his notebook & walked towards the door. The woman looked @ me like, 'well damn' & got up too then they left. I felt so sorry for the poor woman." Mom answered now done laughing.

Of course things were never the same after that. I think Kim & i actually had sex only @ work after that & that was difficult because we had to take our breaks @ the same time, walk to the back of the store get in a bathroom stall & I would try to cum twice before someone came in. That's tough to do when you're both in a men's or ladies bathroom. But Kim was bout it when it came to doing what i said sexually. That's what I liked about her the most. Well...that & her big ass titties!

UNTIL NEXT TIME CHAMPIONS!!!

The Sandman

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Friday, August 7, 2009

EPISODE 7: I HATE STINGY PUSSY!



Okay I know a lot of you can't see the video & only have the option to read...but I can't put it any better into words...so please watch the video. That's all I can say!


THE BLOG STARTS @ 2:12 I put the pix up bcuz i keep getting requests for certain things! Thanks For your patience!

The Sandman

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video

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

EPISODE 5: AMAZONIAN ADVENTURE

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Okay so...thinking back to things you did that were absolutely IGNORANT for some sex? Lol...well I've got a story that is probably more zany than any you've heard!

So...there was this old flame I had named Alicia. We tried to have sex once in high school but it didn't happen (very funny story i will write after this one) So anyway Alicia was a very attractive Caucasian chick. (that means white for those who are a little unsure!...lol)

She had short blonde hair that stopped short @ about midway of her neck. *not quite shoulder length but not Halle Berry style either kind of like Elvira in "Scarface." Actually more like Mia Farrow In "Rosemary's Baby" Her legs were long *she was about 5' 10"* & she was model thin.

She had deep blue sparkling eyes and a very cute smile that gave her face a lot of youth. I was about 17 & she was about 16 years old so we were both quite "new" at the whole sex thing. Of course neither one of us were virgins anymore (she'd lost her virginity to a Caucasian dude after I was too big to fit *story for later*) but neither one of us were pros so u know...lol

I can't remember HOW on EARTH i ran into her again. Maybe it was working somewhere while i was in school...that's what seems to be familiar...

ANYWAY, I got her number again & she came over quite a few times before we stopped seeing each other for awhile. When she resurfaced, it was with a phone call around midnight. She'd told me that she was going to come & pick me up so we could go back to her parent's house who were out of town...we all knew what this meant. *ting*

I got dressed in my flyest nautica competition suit. Yellow with blue stripes & blue nikes to match. I hopped in her car & we were off to her parent's house. On the way I'm thinking about all the things i'm going to do to her that I hadn't yet done on her previous visits when she says, "Okay you gotta hop in the trunk." ....?!! My face is like "!!!" I looked @ her with NO hesitation & said, "What?!, FOR WHAT?!" She looked @ me with urgency & fear saying, "Because my neighbors are nosey & they will tell on me."

Okay my mind is like this:

1. It's 1 a.m. WHO the FUCK can SEE us out here?
2. What if she's setting me up for something like a racist ass whoopin or some shit to initiate her possible redneck boyfriend?! *LMAO sorry...i mean i was 17! gimmie a break!*
3. Why the FUCK dis bitch ain't say dis shit WHEN SHE CALLED ME?

I looked at Alicia and said, "Why didn't you tell me this before?" She looked @ me with the dumbest expression & said, "I didn't think it would be an issue, you're skinny enough to fit in there." "Yeah but my ass DON'T BELONG in there!" I said upset.

"Come on baby! We can't let them catch us if so I will be homeless." She said with sad girl eyes. Of course my mind was working again:

1. Good pussy
2. She's a screamer
3. I'm already DRESSED
4. My dick is already hard
5. FUCK it...

SO...I got my ass out the car and into the trunk. It was about 50 degrees or less outside so I put my matching jacket on. When she let me out it was about 3-5 minutes later inside the safety of her parent's garage.

When I stepped out & into the light shining from the door opener, I'd noticed that a nasty black spot was on my brand new Yellow Nautica outfit. "$300 down the fucking drain." I thought. "FUCK!" I said out loud! "What happened?" she said. I told her & she answered, "Oh it will come out." before opening the door to the inside of the house. *by the way?...that shit NEVER came the fuck out!*

I was trailing behind because I couldn't get the stain to brighten up so when i got in the kitchen I walked into an argument between Alicia & her blackmailing 11 yr old sister who was there just to throw salt into everything.

Her parents owned a lovely home in an exclusive neighborhood just like the one I lived in but it was closer to the countryside. Five bedrooms 3 and 1/2 baths, lovely home indeed. I would guess about $380,000 to $450,000. I've been dealing with real estate for a while thanks to my father who was an agent for about 17 or 18 years.

"I'm telling Alicia! You know you not supposed to be datin' black guys!" The sister said with her arms folded. Alicia looked like she was the cat with the canary & said, "Why not?...YOU DATE black guys!" Her little sister quickly denied it, "NO I DON'T!" Alicia got in her face, "Yes you do cuz you and such & such were on the phone the other day!"

Keep in mind, I'm standing in the room looking more & more like an asshole because they are both in there arguing about me like i'm not even in the house! Luckily that last comment shut the sister up. She got pissed off and quickly walked to her room slamming the bedroom door behind her. *I almost laughed*

"Come on." Alicia said grabbing my hand and pulling me toward her room. "Whew that was fucking close!" I thought. There is something SO INTRIGUING about a GIRL'S ROOM!! I don't know WHAT it is, but it just FEEL SO...SO WOW! I mean truth be told? I get a fucking HARD ON just from being IN a girl's room when it's about to go down you know?

The way it smells all sweet & pretty & shit, sometimes it's like a perfume smell, sometimes it's like a floral smell, sometimes it's like baby oil and/or lotion smell...awe man...i'm getting a hard on just THINKING ABOUT THIS SHIT!! DAMN! *shout out to all the ladies out there with clean FEMININE rooms! OOOOH! *WHOOO!! RICK FLAIR!*

So we get in the room, get into foreplay going at it for like 25 minutes. I kissed her passionately while playing with her left nipple making her moan so sensuously it almost made me skeet my Fruit of The Looms!® *side note, remember when you were little & thought they were called "Fruit of Balloons?!" LMAO!

So i slowly moved down to her pretty pink pussy (*LADIES u know how we guys do...eeeeeease slooowwwwwly to the puss! lmao!*) and started flicking her clit. When i touched it she was already SOAKING wet of course, so I only played with it for about 2-3 minutes.

I leaned down in between her beautiful long pale legs (*she would never tan lol always burned but they weren't GHOSTLY pale, just pale like Mia Farrow from the movie Rosemary's Baby when they FIRST moved into the apartment*) and began to lick her perfectly placed little clit.

She was soooo...sexy. She had the absolutely sexiest little voice anyway, but DURING sex? Oh wow...& don't get it twisted The Champ has skillZ on the Oral & Penetration Circuit so she had no choice but to squeal. *yeah don't hate lol* So after I made sure she came two times *yes she came i SAW the pussy juice come out both times & u know y'alls pussies do that little squeeze/release thing when you cum hard so...y'all cain't *yes CAIN'T* fool me! Lmao!

After my snack, She sat up, took her shirt off, then her bra and threw them both on the floor i put the condom on while she lay there looking @ me patiently & smiling so sweetly. I climbed up on top of her, got it about 1/4th of the way in & she said, "Wait! Stop!..." I stopped with caution. "What's wrong??" I said frowning. "I can't do this?" She answered. "What?...Can't do what? We've been doing this off & on for a while Alicia what's wrong? What did I do?" I answered while moving over on her right side & lying next to her.

"I love Chris." She answered. "Chris?! Chris?!? Who the FUCK is Chris?!" I fumed at her. "He's...he's my boyfriend." She said looking away. So you know what I'm thinking now right?

1. Why the fuck did this bitch call me "late night" BEGGING me to come back with her...
2. Come over to my parents house & pick me up...
3. Ask me to get into the mothaFUCKING TRUNK of her CAR...messing up my $300 track suit...
4. Have that argument with her sister RISKING getting thrown the fuck out the house...
5. Get all the way to THIS POINT...And NOT SAY ANYTHING?!...

"Why the FUCK you ain't say this shit before now Alicia? You dragged me all the way up here fucking up my favorite & EXPENSIVE I might add...track suit! You get me all the way up here I lick yo pussy you cum HARD twice & now you give me this 'I got a boyfriend' SHIT??! What the fuck is wrong with you!?" I was screaming.

She was crying by now. "I don't know...I thought...I guess I thought we could keep having sex like always but I realize that I'm in love with him & I can't have sex with anyone else." She said through tears. By this time I'm so pissed I didn't give a fuck.

"What the FUCK you cryin for Alicia?" I asked violently putting my clothes back on. She sobbed harder. I was pissed. "Take me the fuck home." I said. "No! No! Please just stay the night with me?" She begged. She was on her knees on the edge of her bed reaching up and grabbing my arm with tears in her eyes. I was pissed but I still felt sorry for her for some fucking WEAK ass reason. I don't know...maybe because we had fucked so many times before & we were really close. I was still fucking pissed though.

"Alicia take me the FUCK home now." i insisted. "Please ___. Please stay?" She begged. And, like a fuckin pussy I gave in & stayed. I fell asleep with an attitude and a fuckin hard on. *I already know what you gone say! AND YES I ASKED & THE BITCH WOULDN'T EVEN GIVE ME SO MUCH AS A FUCKIN HAND JOB* I wanted to choke her stankin' ass OUT!

When I woke up I had to pee. She was sound asleep so I found my way out of the candlelit room & into the hallway on the way to the bathroom. When i turned the corner, a GREAT DANE was standing on ALL FOURS and staring straight at me.

He was fucking huge! Looked just LIKE SCOOBY DOO! Only difference was he was a pretty fawn (tan) color with a white chest. I stood there for a minute not making any sudden moves. I'm 6 feet tall so he was about as tall as my chest. I slowly walked closer & put my fist out. *if you know anything about dogs you know that you can't put your fingers out at a dog, that shows a threat. You have to put your fist out*

I put my fist out to the tame Great Dane, he sniffed it and let me pass. "Fuck! Why didn't these bitches TELL me they had a fucking PONY FOR A DOG?!" I thought. *Yeah it's funny now but you try waking up in the middle of the night in a strange house half asleep & finding a GREAT DANE staring straight @ you! Bet YO ass gone freak out & NOT handle it as calmly as EYE did.*

I went back to bed & let the stingy pussied-bitch drive me back home early right before sunrise. I was STILL pissed...

UNTIL NEXT TIME CHAMPIONS!!!

The Sandman

www.myspace.com/theworldsGREATESTproducer
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

UPDATE!: ME & A CHICK PT. 4

Wow...UPDATE! Remember the chick from my first blog?! She just sent me an email: If you can believe this...WATCH THE VIDEO FOR THE PREFACE...ONLY IF YOU LIKE LAUGHING! *WARNING ADULT CONTENT/LANGUAGE!

video


The Email Of Craziness!:

this is the thing. I have found myself at a crossroads, where I can finally come to the realization that I DONT LIKE ME. This isn't me. I vowed to myself a long time ago that I would wait to have sex until I was married. You see, the devil has a way of cleaning up things to make it look presentable and will have you doing and saying things that you would never do by yourself. I have found myself at a crossroads, where I have fell between the cracks, and I let this world consume me in so many ways.

I just want to go back and be old _____, sweet and kind. Not manipulative and deceitful and conniving.
I hate what I have become. I let go of GOD's hand and I let self consume me. Here is the thing with my parents, not only did I get caught but I dis-honored them and the values that they have taught me. I let self get the best of me. I realized through a series of questions that they have been asking me, that I dont really know you. I mean I know the logistics but I really dont know you, like a person should, as you dont really know me. Anyway, this is not about making you feel bad, this is about me. I have a lot of growing up to do, and I have to find my place within God and win back his love. I messed up, big time.

You may think that this whole thing is trivial, because we're both adults and we should be able to do whatever, but this is not the way that I was raised. I can't go on pretending that I'm okay with everything that we have done. Or what I have become of.
Here is the deal, not only am I not going to contact you for a little while, but I am not going to engage in anything sexually explicit until I am mature enough to handle the responsibilities, that comes with playing with fire. I was raised better than this, and I know right from wrong, I had no business having sex. So here is the story, stick with it okay, my ass depends on this, and so does yours.

We've only had sex three times, and you've been to my house once. My dad only knows it for being once, and my mom knows it for being twice. Oh and you have never taken a shower here, Oh and if my mother calls you, please please please dont be disrespectful, it will only make matters worse for me and you both. Just apologize for disrespecting their home, and take some of the heat for me. I'm taking all of the heat, grant it, it is my fault, that I even opened pandora's box. I'm so sorry if i ever caused you grief, but i'm at stake.


They have threatened for me to move out, and come live with you, and I know that I could never do that. I cried so much yesterday, I just don't know if I could handle being homeless and having no one or no where to turn. It sucks being a dissappointment to the people that you love, and having them think the worst of you. When it all boils down, its a reflection on me, that depicts an insecure girl. I can honestly say that I have a low self esteem, and that I used sex as a means to feel wanted or desired. Goes to show you, that I truly hit rock bottom, and God has a way of opening the eyes.

The times we shared were very special. The way you held me in your arms. You were so tender and sweet when I asked you to be. I know you like rough sex and you are very good at it but like I told you I like it when you hold me close and really make love to me. I never liked the F word even though you liked for me to say it.

You are truly talented in so many areas and God has given you many gifts. I like the fact that you are humble and I like so many other things about you. I'm not sorry that I met you, because you are a nice person, and I did enjoy your company. But I also realized that we are not compatible, we are simply friends that have casual sex. It was wonderful sex and you are better than anyone else i've been with but, its not normal in the eyes of God,to have casual sex,

I gave you the most precious thing that God could give to me, my body. Please, do respond to this message, and dont be upset or pissed off, I just need to take time to think about what GOD wants of ______. Its his world, and i'm merely a vessel trying to restore what I had with him. I messed it up. I hope you understand that this is the way it must be.


Okay, Now I am not totally against what she said about God and premarital sex...but she is 21 YEARS OLD!?? IF I HAD KNOWN THIS SHIT WAS GONE BE THIS STUPID??! I MEAN I WOULD HAVE LEFT HER ASS WHERE I FOUND HER!


Why would i put myself through this??! NOBODY is worth this grief & headache! I have a very LOW tolerance for stupidity...SERIOUSLY i know i joke a lot but there is joking, stupid, funny stuff then there is just plain old RETARDED!


We met on a dating site. I won't say which one bcuz they don't pay me to advertise & i didn't pay them either so just know that it was a dating site. NOT THE ONE SHE LIED TO HER PARENTS ABOUT THOUGH!!

I mean for real...you chix and dudes gotta see it from my perspective...read my FIRST blog & you will understand better...seriously I don't think I have to say much more...

Until Next Time Champions!!!


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www.myspace.com/thesandmanno1
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Monday, August 3, 2009

Me & A Chick Pt. 2 (THE HIGH SCHOOL YEARS™)



So everyone has a first time right? Well my first time was quite interesting. So interesting in fact that I wasn't sure exactly what was supposed to transpire. *chuckles* I was 16 years old & in high school @ a predominantly Caucasian school.

*WARNING* This blog does contain some mature content so please DO NOT READ if you're a minor

Being in high school is all about fitting in.* That was not always easy for me especially when I was one of only a handful of African-American kids there. In homeroom there was a girl named Jennifer who was always just overly friendly. She was always sitting really close to me & finding some reason to touch my knee, thigh or put her head on my shoulder.

Jennifer was a short Caucasian girl with long sandy blonde hair. She had freckles that weren't all over her face or unattractive but, actually gave her a lot of character. Here eyes were hazel green & neatly placed on either side of her keen nose.

Her smile was okay, not the best i must admit but only because her two front teeth were slightly bucked. *I am an extremely picky person so keep in mind that I am not only critical for personal reasons but to give a good description*

So one day I got up the nerve to ask Jennifer to skip school. I mean why not?...???

1. She was definitely trying to be on the team...
2.We were both inexperienced...
3.She was cute...enough
4.I had peer pressure pushing me to find out what sex was about...
5.I had MORE curiosity than peer pressure pushing me to find out...

Those are MORE than enough reasons for a 16 year old to have sex...right?!? RIGHT! lol

So...

The day we decided to skip finally came. We had to do it 6th period which was the last period because she had tests that day. I met her outside the school, she jumped in the car & we were off. The problem was: There was nowhere to be "off" to. The school was virtually in the middle of nowhere. No motels, no hotels...NO Holiday Inns.

So, I got a bright idea & decided to go into a subdivision that was just starting. We were pressed for time because we only had about 50 minutes before the last period was over & she had to be @ the bus to go home.

There were no homes built in the subdivision yet, so i drove all the way to the back to the last culdesac & parked. Keep in mind it was BROAD daylight!* A beautiful autumn day with the leaves changing colors & covering the ground making lovely hues of orange, red, yellow and brown.

We jumped in the backseat & started the ritual. I took her shirt off, she took off mine. We made out for about 5 minutes really hard then took our pants off. She was down to nothing but her socks & so was I *shit it was cold!* lmao!

So since i was so tall & it was FREEZing outside, we couldn't lie down because I would have had to open the door. I sat there on the backseat and placed her on top of me. This was a long struggle that lasted about thirty minutes because we couldn't get it in.

Needless to say, I was getting frustrated & so was my cock. FINALLY SUCCESS! She sat down on it and did her best to balance without hitting her head on the roof of the car while i held onto her waist and pushed her down on my cock and lifted her back up again.

I had no idea what I was doing and neither did she* i reiterate, so when she came...she stopped moving & i was sitting there with a hard cock inside a rubber. lol so...she got up off of it and sat down next to me. "It hurt @ first, but towards the middle it got really good." She said.

She kissed me and when she moved from the spot next to me, there was blood. I started freaking out because it was my DAD'S CAR!! "Awe shit!" I exclaimed. She was freaking out as well. "Oh my God is that supposed to happen?" She asked.

So here i am with a rock hard cock RUBBER STILL ON* trying to get blood off of my dad's tan seat with like 5 minutes until the last bell rang. I had no time to waste

I gave up on the backseat jumped IN my clothes & drove her back to the school. We got there right after the bell rang & the other kids were coming out to the buses.

By the time I got back to my parent's house The word was out: EVERYONE KNEW WHAT HAPPENED

A Legend was born.


Of course the stain never came out & turned brown. When my dad asked me what it was?...shiiiiiiiiit...i was like, "Oh someone spilled some soda back there today."

Until Next Time Champions!

The Sandman
www.myspace.com/theworldsGREATESTproducer
www.twitter.com/number1producer
www.myspace.com/thesandmanno1

HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE? ME & A CHICK STORY #1




Like seriously people,

I don't want you to get the wrong idea, really I don't. I just want you to understand that everyone can't help stupidity. Some people are just stupid because of upbringing. Most people call this a lack of "common sense." I agree with this theory for many reasons.


I am going to give you an example of a conversation I had with a girl who is 21 yrs old, in college but living with her parents @ home for the summer. Please forgive the language it is harsh & profane but it's real life with no editing. This conversation is via Instant Messenger.


NOW ON TO HER I.M.S she sent me!: LOOK BELOW!

Oh my god. My parents just busted my ass. So no can do. They knw about you. I'm in so much fuckin trouble. All of the trust just went out the window. I'm scared. If they happen to call you quick to this story we only had sex twice and you've only been here once. Okay? *miss kelly*

what?...what the fuck?
Auto-reply: Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here 6:59 PM

Yea. *miss kelly*
7:02 PM Thats the fuckin story *miss kelly* So stick with it dammit. *miss kelly* I fucked up bad. They found out Because you signed on that Damn twitter site and aol and papa john. Fuck! *miss kelly* 7:46 PM I'm scared. My mom is giving me the hate stare. Oh and we met on facebook. Thats the story so stick with it. Okay. And you've only been to my house once. Okay! *miss kelly* 7:51 PM

i thought i signed off...i can't believe this shit. that's fuckin crazy Auto-reply: Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here u shoulda just turned the power off...that way it wouldn't have saved stupid ass fucking laptop. even so why didn't u just tell them i gave you my password???! i mean u could have said i gave it to you over the phone & you put it in there!... what the fuck were you thinking?!?

I'm so sad. I feel like a cheap hoe. I'm done with having sex. *miss kelly*
I just wanna cry. I lost my best friend. My mom hates me. *miss kelly* I just wish it was a nightmare and that i would wake up from it all. *miss kelly* 11:10 PM Say something please Good night

Okay...now first of all...why in the HELL is a 21 year old girl in COLLEGE having problems like this? *yes she is INDEED 21 i saw her i.d. when we were @ her dorm room* Where is her critical thinking? Seriously...how could she have fucked this up???

The next day:

you have 2 be fucking kidding me...all you had to say was i gave you my password over the phone so you could look up those sites Auto-reply: Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here you were the one who fucked up KellZ is now online. 7:47 AM

I choked. Dont blame it on me.

what the fuck??? who do i blame it on? ??? Auto-reply: Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here 7:52 AM

Those instincts are looking pretty good now. Damn i shouldve listened to it, and vice versa.


i TOLD you to get YOUR laptop bcuz i ain't wanna use your mom's! i TOLD you that I shouldve listened. And they think that i'm stupid. And a hoe. 7:58 AM Oh so you think i'm a hoe too? Your getting quiet on me.

GIRL i'm doing a fucking beat
i can't be bothered with this shit cuz you wouldn't listen you are a GROWN adult WOMAN this shit is dumb 8:10 AM Its not dumb. My mother is terrified Because i let you into their safe personal space. I mean that was stupid, on my part.

OH OKAY...SO NOW YOU DON'T KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO TRUST ME IN THE HOUSE

I shouldve just been honest with them and let you meet my dad it wouldve been okay. But no i had to sneak and now its coming back to haunt me. I take ful
l responsibility. I do knw you. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying thats whats incriminating me now. Do you understand my mother cant stand the site of me. She hates my fuckin guts. Anyway, i'll talk to you later. Headed to church.

well your mother has some issues she needs to work out SERIOUSLY...you are her 21 year old daughter.
10:28 AM Yea. I think what makes her so angry is that i lied to her face to save myself and then i had sex. Having sex before marriage.

...still they fucking trippin
Auto-reply: Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here 10:32 AM

Yea. But seriously i have come to the conclusion, that i have a low self esteem. I give in to peer pressure, and i cant manage a sex life along with my s tudies. Its too much for me! I need to be celebate for a little while and rekindle my trust with God, and my mom. She was my best friend. I cried myself "t to sleep last night, i knw that its going to take a long time for us to be tight again. ?

...what the ???


Its something deeper that i struggle with. Its deeper than you and i.


but you are doing fine in your studies

You may not understand, i dont expect for you to.
No. I flunked my classes first semester trying to fit in at a new univ. I couldnt find a balance. Having c's on your report card is not fine. I'm sorry its just not.

u did? damn...i didn't know


Its not exactly somethin that i would brag about i'm highly embarrassed. And i dont like this new me, it sucks. This isnt me. I want to be old ____. I
t hurts so bad, i cant lie to myself and i cant fool God.

sugar u talkin crazy right now
10:47 AM

This is something that i fight daily. Its a struggle that i cant deal with. Its like so deep. I cant explain it. All i knw is, that i gotta make it right with God. And everything else will fall into place. I let self consume me. I dont want god to take his hands off of me. This isnt crazy talk its the tru th. I dont want my soul to be damned.

yeah that's right


I dont like it! God has been so good to me, he let me take communion one more time, to wipe the slate clean. 10:54 AM Just pray for me! I never told anyone that until now.

that's fine sugar
11:00 AM

I'm sorry. i'm not crazy. I just let this world consume me. I turned away from him. He never left me. no no i know u arent crazy I just deal with alot of internal stuff. Hey are you sure this im/ text thing is not going to charge extra if i have unlimited text? Are you absolutely sure? Cuz thats the last thing i need for her to take my phone away.

yes i'm sure damn 11:10 AM

Just making sure. Thats the last thing i need to hear about.


i know

Thankyou. For the listening ear. This upcoming semester is my make it or break it semester. I have to pull straight a's. And i can do it with god's help!

yes "G" "G" God capital


Okay. Was typing fast.
Gotta go okay? Leaving phone at home.

oh no are you serious? phone @ home?!


Yes. Very serious. Its dead anyway.


ok


Bye baby. 1:29 PM You left the chat by logging out or being disconnected.



Okay so here, we can clearly see that the chick has been brainwashed to some TERRIBLE degree because she has all this "parent-guilt." This is crazy all by itself...

That's my whole point though...this thing is pretty ridiculous just reading what she wrote you FEEL like you're talking to someone who is pretty much off right? Exactly...

Until Next Time Champions!

The Sandman
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