Wow...UPDATE! Remember the chick from my first blog?! She just sent me an email: If you can believe this...WATCH THE VIDEO FOR THE PREFACE...ONLY IF YOU LIKE LAUGHING! *WARNING ADULT CONTENT/LANGUAGE!
The Email Of Craziness!:
this is the thing. I have found myself at a crossroads, where I can finally come to the realization that I DONT LIKE ME. This isn't me. I vowed to myself a long time ago that I would wait to have sex until I was married. You see, the devil has a way of cleaning up things to make it look presentable and will have you doing and saying things that you would never do by yourself. I have found myself at a crossroads, where I have fell between the cracks, and I let this world consume me in so many ways.
I just want to go back and be old _____, sweet and kind. Not manipulative and deceitful and conniving. I hate what I have become. I let go of GOD's hand and I let self consume me. Here is the thing with my parents, not only did I get caught but I dis-honored them and the values that they have taught me. I let self get the best of me. I realized through a series of questions that they have been asking me, that I dont really know you. I mean I know the logistics but I really dont know you, like a person should, as you dont really know me. Anyway, this is not about making you feel bad, this is about me. I have a lot of growing up to do, and I have to find my place within God and win back his love. I messed up, big time.
You may think that this whole thing is trivial, because we're both adults and we should be able to do whatever, but this is not the way that I was raised. I can't go on pretending that I'm okay with everything that we have done. Or what I have become of. Here is the deal, not only am I not going to contact you for a little while, but I am not going to engage in anything sexually explicit until I am mature enough to handle the responsibilities, that comes with playing with fire. I was raised better than this, and I know right from wrong, I had no business having sex. So here is the story, stick with it okay, my ass depends on this, and so does yours.
We've only had sex three times, and you've been to my house once. My dad only knows it for being once, and my mom knows it for being twice. Oh and you have never taken a shower here, Oh and if my mother calls you, please please please dont be disrespectful, it will only make matters worse for me and you both. Just apologize for disrespecting their home, and take some of the heat for me. I'm taking all of the heat, grant it, it is my fault, that I even opened pandora's box. I'm so sorry if i ever caused you grief, but i'm at stake.
They have threatened for me to move out, and come live with you, and I know that I could never do that. I cried so much yesterday, I just don't know if I could handle being homeless and having no one or no where to turn. It sucks being a dissappointment to the people that you love, and having them think the worst of you. When it all boils down, its a reflection on me, that depicts an insecure girl. I can honestly say that I have a low self esteem, and that I used sex as a means to feel wanted or desired. Goes to show you, that I truly hit rock bottom, and God has a way of opening the eyes.
The times we shared were very special. The way you held me in your arms. You were so tender and sweet when I asked you to be. I know you like rough sex and you are very good at it but like I told you I like it when you hold me close and really make love to me. I never liked the F word even though you liked for me to say it.
You are truly talented in so many areas and God has given you many gifts. I like the fact that you are humble and I like so many other things about you. I'm not sorry that I met you, because you are a nice person, and I did enjoy your company. But I also realized that we are not compatible, we are simply friends that have casual sex. It was wonderful sex and you are better than anyone else i've been with but, its not normal in the eyes of God,to have casual sex,
I gave you the most precious thing that God could give to me, my body. Please, do respond to this message, and dont be upset or pissed off, I just need to take time to think about what GOD wants of ______. Its his world, and i'm merely a vessel trying to restore what I had with him. I messed it up. I hope you understand that this is the way it must be.
Okay, Now I am not totally against what she said about God and premarital sex...but she is 21 YEARS OLD!?? IF I HAD KNOWN THIS SHIT WAS GONE BE THIS STUPID??! I MEAN I WOULD HAVE LEFT HER ASS WHERE I FOUND HER!
Why would i put myself through this??! NOBODY is worth this grief & headache! I have a very LOW tolerance for stupidity...SERIOUSLY i know i joke a lot but there is joking, stupid, funny stuff then there is just plain old RETARDED!
We met on a dating site. I won't say which one bcuz they don't pay me to advertise & i didn't pay them either so just know that it was a dating site. NOT THE ONE SHE LIED TO HER PARENTS ABOUT THOUGH!!
I mean for real...you chix and dudes gotta see it from my perspective...read my FIRST blog & you will understand better...seriously I don't think I have to say much more...
Until Next Time Champions!!!™